Well today is my last day in North America. Never have I felt more relieved to be heading through these borders. On a plane home, even the sound of it makes my shoulders relax and my lungs filled with air. Home. Home. Home. Someone that knows my backbone, my story, who I am, where I come from and my origin.
Some days are just so misunderstood. Sacrificed days and passions. A little less of me, a little more of everyone else. A little less of home, a little more of a new culture. Many think I am so " lucky". Funny, I think the opposite. It isn't that I am ungrateful, just sometimes overwhelmed with sadness that everything that has defined me from birth is so far away.
Always stuck in the middle of there to here. Never feeling rooted or grounded.
I know that in Jesus I have a strong foundations. Psalm 23 has been my mentor through the month of January; my shepherd, my provider, my comforter, my wisdom, my friend, my help. Relying only on him for help and counsel. Knowing that he knows every part of me and where I come from. He knows my desires and hopes and dreams. Perhaps this could be the hardest challenge of yet. It's time I took responsibility. Responsibility of the longings inside me. Too often we sit back and let the overwhelmed feelings of being known take over. Perhaps it's time to take over them, putting Jesus in the centre of them and reminding myself minute by minute of psalm 23. "Goodness and mercy" "green pastures".
Canada has been green pastures, despite absolutely not enjoying it initially, it has become home. I don't know if it's forever, but it is home for now. A place that my children are growing up in. Their roots and their story.
Flying home consists of two long flights, 14 hours and nine hours. Somehow me and the girls will still be alive and social able to meet and greet people with smiles. A deep longing in me to be home seems to greater by the minute. The closer I get. Hopefully these rose tinted glasses will not fall off. So blogger and readers, this is my journey from one continent to another, going home and lessons learned. Maybe some entertainment, blessings and a few surprises.
I think a perfect way to end would be to say, welcome home.
Welcome home.
