Applaud myself

SO.... who would have thought I would start a sentence with 'so'.  Becoming very North American... find that all hysterical, for absolutely no reason!

SO,... I am reading this book by Victoria Osteen, (Joel Osteen's wife).  To be honest I read it about five years ago, and have been meaning to reread it over the last year.  Finally I am there.  I have only managed the first few chapters, yet they seem to be timely in encouragement and need to share.

In her first chapter she mentions learning to applaud yourself.  Why did I not think of that one.  In the world of children, parenting, groceries, meals and that ongoing list of things I need to do... there seem to be many moments where that huge, gigantic feeling of being overwhelmed, feeling insecure, and losing it seems to take over.  That's when you APPLAUD YOURSELF

APPLAUD YOURSELF in the little things that you have managed; brushed my teeth, yippee do da, I brushed my teeth, I am amazing, I actually managed to brush my teeth. For some with young children, we can relate to the  DID I or didn't I?  Finding small achievements.  Writing the more memorable things down,  reminding ourselves that we can do it this time.  

Over the last year, I remember a few big things; running a ten km race, driving ten hours with two small children by MYSELF, flying 30 hours with two small children on my own.  Yes I can do the big huge things.  The little things from this week; inviting someone for dinner last minute, even though the food wasn't the best, making time to call someone, writing a letter to a dear friend, reading a story to my children as they smiled and joined in, managing to brush their teeth with no tears! What an achievement! I am AWESOME (so Canadian..)

Too often I huddle over all the things I haven't managed.  Today I didn't manage to vacuum, or clean the bathtub, or pay the bill that is waiting... or do any ironing,  clean out the car or put the toys away. (I guess I could be doing all that if I wasn't doing this..)  BUT the irony is, as soon as I think of all the great little achievements it seems to motivate me for the others that are still waiting.  

Yes I can, I can do this, that overwhelmed feeling is becoming slightly crushed by applauding myself with new accomplishments, appreciation that it has been a good day, and new memories that I wouldn't trade for the world. 

So here is to a new week of applauding, valuing and recognising what has been done.  Noticing the people of the world and having eyes to see the butterfly effect.  With that I take a bow, a curtsy and listen to the applause!

Welcome home

Well today is my last day in North America. Never have I felt more relieved to be heading through these borders.  On a plane home, even the sound of it makes my shoulders relax and my lungs filled with air.  Home.  Home.  Home.  Someone that knows my backbone, my story, who I am, where I come from and my origin.  

Some days are just so misunderstood.  Sacrificed days and passions.  A little less of me, a little more of everyone else.  A little less of home, a little more of a new culture.  Many think I am so " lucky".  Funny, I think the opposite.  It isn't that I am ungrateful, just sometimes overwhelmed with sadness that everything that has defined me from birth is so far away.   
Always stuck in the middle of there to here.   Never feeling rooted or grounded.  

I know that in Jesus I have a strong foundations.  Psalm 23 has been my mentor through the month of January; my shepherd, my provider, my comforter, my wisdom, my friend, my help.  Relying only on him for help and counsel.  Knowing that he knows every part of me and where I come from.  He knows my desires and hopes and dreams.  Perhaps this could be the hardest challenge of yet.  It's time I took responsibility. Responsibility of the longings inside me.  Too often we sit back and let the overwhelmed feelings of being known take over.  Perhaps it's time to take over them, putting Jesus in the centre of them and reminding myself minute by minute of psalm 23. "Goodness and mercy" "green pastures". 

Canada has been green pastures, despite absolutely not enjoying it initially, it has become home.  I don't know if it's forever, but it is home for now.  A place that my children are growing up in.  Their roots and their story.  

Flying home consists of two long flights, 14 hours and nine hours.  Somehow me and the girls will still be alive and social able to meet and greet people with smiles.  A deep longing in me to be home seems to greater by the minute.  The closer I get.  Hopefully these rose tinted glasses will not fall off. So blogger and readers, this is my journey from one continent to another, going home and lessons learned.  Maybe some entertainment, blessings and a few surprises.  

I think a perfect way to end would be to say, welcome home. 
Welcome home.